This isn't as funny as I originally thought Ryan Guenther June 29, 2006 permalink

It's happened to everyone on the internet at some point -- you type up a brilliant bit of comedy like:

and instead of the expected chorus of lol's you get some asshole flaming you for being insensitive, or telling you that it isn't an appropriate use of the daycare mailing list.

Are people really that dense? Don't they have a sense of humour? Can't they tell the difference between sarcasm and a serious comment? Well, no, they can't. But neither can you.

Recently a collection of university types completed a grant application proving what anyone with a keyboard already knows: the idiots just don't get it. Specifically, what people don't get is tone in email.

Ignoring for the moment the massive duh factor in the findings -- after all performing pointless tasks is the point of university -- this study is still somewhat interesting. Not only did they find that barely more than half of people can accurately gauge the tone of a written communiqué, they also found that people aren't nearly as funny as they think they are. And remember, I told you to ignore the duh factor.

This research must surely make panelists on the Larry King Live show feel better, after they were left spluttering when David Horowitz asserted that Ann Coulter's latest book is a work of satire. A book, much like an email, gives no non-verbal cues as to its satiricism or lack thereof. And neither, for that matter, does Coulter herself, with her animatronic facial features and wooden delivery.

And without the non-verbals, how could anyone even hope to detect sarcasm when the words she's using are virtually identical to every other Republican party flack and right wing ideologue on President Bush's Christmas list? If the content, taken at face value, is a bald-faced lie, then it's actually charitable to assume satire.

Those of you reading this site will have an even harder time of it, because I honestly can't tell you when I'm being sarcastic. Is it sarcasm to say we should turn Africa into a prison island and film reality shows there? Because while it's somewhat insensitive to say, it's also true. What's the emoticon for half-kidding? It's not that fucking winky smiley some people use to denote sarcasm. Which I hate. You might as well say "not" after every sentence like the great pre-internet videobloggers Wayne and Garth. If people are too stupid to Get It, sucks to be them.

Instead, I think people should use an emoticon to denote the absence of satire: mh (and its attendant gif for MSN: ). Hopefully this will clear up some of the confusion. Did he really mean it when he told me to fuck off and die, or was he being sarcastic? mh Now you know.