Michael Jackson died, and suddenly it doesn't matter that he molested children and monkeys and quite possibly the corpse of the elephant man, all of that is forgiven. Now everyone is tripping over each other in the rush to pay tribute to the King of Pop, the only man famous enough to molest a drunk 13-year-old cancer victim and get away with it.

First it was the musicians, then the paparazzi shows, and finally a football player celebrated a touchdown by taking off his helmet and pads, laying down in the endzone and crossing his arms over his chest like a corpse.

Really? He couldn't just grab his crotch and do the moonwalk? Or if that's not showy enough, pull a nine-year-old out of the crowd and rape him. Frankly, I'm a little worried about what he'll do as a tribute to Steve McNair. A 15 minute interpretive dance on the themes of love, lust and betrayal?

So now we're on the eve of one of the biggest, showiest, most unashamedly pompous funerals in history, with tickets harder to get than swine flu--and with similar symptoms.  I'm already feeling a little nauseous, and I haven't even been in contact with a carrier.

Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder, Usher and Lionel Richie will all be there (though fellow unconvicted sex offender R Kelly strangely will not).  They will sing his songs. They will mimic his dance moves. They will talk about his music, his showmanship, even his influence on culture. Some may even be crass enough to echo Al Sharpton's claim that Jackson paved the way for Barrack Obama and other half-black celebrities.

But in all the talk about his fame and wealth and music, it shouldn't be forgotten that Michael Jackson loved children, and not just the way Jesus did in the Bible, but also the way Jesus did in the sections censored from the Bible by King James for being inappropriate for church.

I like pedophiles as much as the next guy (probably more), but no matter what else you do in your life, it doesn't make you not a child molester. And like it or not, our society doesn't take kindly to child molesters. No amount of good deeds (or in the absence of actual deeds, platinum albums and money) can erase the child molesting. It's like the old Zen question: "What about all the good things Hitler did?"

So, what about it? Will you be able to watch the inevitable photo-montage of Jackson's life set to some euphemistic song like Beat It or Thriller or Smooth Criminal and not shudder a little when the pictures of Jackson surrounded by children fade in? Because he had the balls to come right out and tell us. He was Bad. He was a Smooth Criminal. And he got away with it.

Fortunately, God finally got off His ass and reviewed the case. We can only hope He gets around to Kobe Bryant soon.