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 | Nobody likes a tease
Sep. 16, 2004 - 1:13 am
by: Deacon |
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You may have noticed that Gordon hasn't been around much lately. Actually, you probably haven't noticed. I didn't think much of it till Fuzz told me, and I live with the guy.
As it turns out, Gordon is finding out first hand where things go when Captain Fuzz "disappears" them. I'm working on getting him back, but right now it doesn't look good. For one thing, I have no idea where to start, and for another I'm not really trying that hard. It's Gordon--he was always dead weight anyhow.
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 | Not To Worry.
Sep. 16, 2004 - 2:12 am
by: Fuzz |
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Gordon hasn't worked on the comic for ages. His continuing presence as a character in UAC is for comedic purposes only. His mysterious disappearance however, opens the door for untold levels of slander, libel, and dismemberment. Much rejoicing is expected.
I went and saw Hero tonight with my ladyfriend. What a piece of trash, it wasn't even in English and there weren't any white people in it. That kind of racist filmmaking just makes me sick. I advise you all to steer well clear of it and go see some cool shit like Mel Gibson's Paparazzi instead. Apparently Fable is out, what do you think of that?
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 | The sweet, sweet smell of Juicy Fruit.
Sep. 16, 2004 - 8:40 am
by: Jibble |
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Well, these asshats finally got around to sending me my monthly allowance of empty bubble gum wrappers, so I did some much needed work on the site.
You might notice the new calendar under the comic, which I like to call the "PenguinX Drunk-O-Meter". It will let you know if we're off schedule because of his binge drinking habits. There's also the new "PenguinX Drunk-O-Meter Deluxe", which you can get to by clicking the nifty "Archive" link at the top of this page. If we ever have a full year's worth of comics, they'll show up in there. Eventually I hope to trade in my bubble gum wrappers for the official Juicy Fruit Breathalyzer so we can make trend graphs of comic posting frequency versus blood alcohol content.
Dare to dream indeed.
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| Fantastic!
Sep. 16, 2004 - 1:07 pm
by: Fuzz |
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I like how you're so eager to take credit for these piddly little "accomplishments" when you haven't even lifted a finger to get our e-store up and running. Seeing as we need the money we're going to make selling t-shirts and women's intimatewear to pay for the bits of shiny metal that you love so much, you ought to get going on that. Oh and there might be some used syringes and condoms in with those bubble gum wrappers, so try not to catch anything. A dead Jibble is an even more useless Jibble.
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 | Damn it to hell!
Sep. 16, 2004 - 3:45 pm
by: Penguinx |
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Good going, Fuzz. 'Disappearing' Gordon right before he was supposed to pay me back the $50 he borrowed over four months ago is really a boon to my financial situation. And you all wonder why I drink so much?In moderately related news, I intend on drawing both Gordon and Fuzz engaging in backdoor-loving sex all down your apartment complex's hallway. That'll show you money-stealing, faggot-vanishing bastards.
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| Just Because
Sep. 17, 2004 - 1:44 am
by: Fuzz |
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He was supposed to pay you back that $50 doesn't mean he had any intention of it. He was supposed to do a lot of things, like wash all those cum-stains off the bathroom mirror. In the end it's always Deacon's nurse that has to pay the price.
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| So, if I'm hearing this correctly...
Sep. 17, 2004 - 11:24 am
by: Penguinx |
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Assuming that Deacon's nurse is always the one that cleans up the mess, when do you intend to bring her to my farm? I've got $50 worth of beast-fucking coming my way.
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| Intentions
Sep. 17, 2004 - 11:50 am
by: Fuzz |
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The funny thing about intentions -and I mean other peoples' intentions here, as they relate to you- is that good intentions don't exist. So with that in mind, you can probably estimate when, and in fact whether, I intend on dragging nursey over to your farm. In short: What's in it for me?
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| What's in it for you?
Sep. 17, 2004 - 11:55 am
by: Penguinx |
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There's this rumor floating around that you need me to draw this stupid comic-strip for you. Considering I don't get anything out of drawing the strip, myself, I'd say the situations are reversed.Get me the nurse, or lose the strip. Simple.
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| Excuse Me?
Sep. 17, 2004 - 12:05 pm
by: Fuzz |
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You don't get anything out of drawing UAC? Last time I checked you got pretty fucking drunk. Tell you what though, next pimp I grift, I'll send you $50 in the mail to cover Gordo's tab. Don't think this kind of tantrum-pulling is going work in the future though, you've already drawn enough that in the event of your untimely demise or departure we could carry on by rearranging what we have. Fans can look forward to the introduction of new characters like Alien Sex Fiend, the YAFPS poster man, and Oxygen-tank-for-a-head.
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| Ah, but therein is my ace in the hole!
Sep. 17, 2004 - 12:22 pm
by: Penguinx |
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I own the intellectual property rights for all my designs. If you'd like to purchase them off me for $50, then we'll both be happy.
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