Today's comic marks the end of Jibble's stay with us, at least for the time being. He's still going to be working on the grunt work that we're too lazy to, not mention incapable of doing ourselves. It feels so good to get those constricting pants off. I experimented with the kilt for a few days several years ago, until Bruce Willis beat me to within an inch of my life.

Speaking of Brucey, we're going to be away all weekend in LA, where, among other things, I am going to make Zach Braff not so pretty no more. This grating fucker has stolen my backup true love, Mandy Moore. Those of you who follow my personal life know that I am currently pursuing a romantic relationship with Annie Betts (no website yet), the localest loveliest newslady in the tri-metro area. However I would be a fool to put all my eggs in one basket, a fact Bruce Willis reminds me of constantly. With Mandy Moore no longer a bachelorette, I don't know where else to turn. Leann Rimes is kind of cute, but I suspect that that's mostly makeup artist magic and CG. Anyone who visits UAC knows that Leah Reminy is fat and old. It's something I'll have to think about. If anybody out there has any suggestions just e-mail me, I've got my surveillance equipment at the ready, in Gordon's room.

Hello Fan, it's good to see you again and I really appreciate your loyalty. I know that you don't read other comics, because you are person of integrity and honour. It's important to me that we come through for you from now on. By we I mean myself and Jibble and the missing link that draws UAC now. You'll notice that I didn't include Deac in there, well that's because he's awol, fan. If you want to see him return to the fold after he finishes up with handijobs.com (which for the record is an extremely generous and noble thing he's doing, by most estimates about three times as charitable as what the Penny-Arcade people do), you should send him an e-mail. You might want to grease the wheels a bit by complimenting his intellect and comparing his looks to those of a "white Wesley Snipes".

As is evident in today's comic, Deacon has changed his shirt again. I think he may have finally found religion. Old time religion.

Hey folks, it's me again. I'm just stopping in real briefly.

I'm wondering you all could maybe help me out, I am working on this new get-rich-quick scheme, and well, would you mind filling out this questionnaire for me?

1 - Do you own a realdoll? Y/N
2 - If there were a realdoll-like product available modelled after the Prophet Mohammed would you consider buying it? Y/N
3 - You do realise that he was the most perfect and beautiful specimen of man ever, don't you? Y/N

Thanks again. Just send that to my e-mail, linked above.

We're gonna be rich!