Iron deficiency causes anemia, so what disease is caused by irony deficiency? Surely there is some medical term for people who, in perfect seriousness, can say that Futurists need to be certified.

Futurists, if you didn't know, are people who charge money to make up crap about the future. With, obviously, no guarantees as to quality or authenticity. The only notable difference between a Futurist and a Tarot Card Reader is that the Futurist won't tell you who to marry, and the Tarot Card Reader puts on a better show.

Apparently there is now downward price-pressure on their little racket from a glut of people calling themselves Futurists who have no degree and don't belong to a registered Futurist organization. The horror! Imagine if some uncertified drunk guy in a bar were allowed to say that most new features on cellphones are unnecessary! There could be riots!

I'm not really sure why it took so long for the masses to notice that everyone has an ass. Maybe they're just now realizing there's money to be made talking out of it. Certainly, you don't need a Masters Degree in Analtalk to spew shit about the impending changeover from petroleum to hybrid cars and hydrogen. Or that speech recognition technology will be instrumental in enabling new mobile services.

Never mind that Futurists, both professional and lay, have been talking up the wonders of speech recognition for decades. And in fact, the problem isn't that it's not useful or that no one wants it, but that it's just very hard to do. But that, of course, is just an implementation issue. Futurists get paid to tell you what you should maybe think about doing over the next decade, not how you should go about maybe doing it.

Like in 1977, when Ken Olson said "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." That's obviously a very broad statement that could be interpretted in many ways. Similarly when Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, said "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers" he was providing a service that could not be rendered by just anyone. Sure he was off a little on the number, but recognizing the fundamental truth that there is a limited market could have kept IBM from risking the whole company on a niche product.

If Futurists aren't regulated, anyone could say anything, with no worry about repurcussions after being repeatedly proven wrong. A completely unqualified charlatan could say, in 1997, that 5.4 million videoconferencing units will be sold to home users in 2001. Obviously that sort of thing needs to only come from trustworthy, certified Futurists like Gartner and IDC. Otherwise, any cynical fuck with a keyboard could spout off about how humanity is devolving. Nobody wants that.

Today's filler is something Penguinx drew just to spite me. He has time to draw shit like this, but is too busy to draw shit like this. Fucker.